Yesterday we went to the clinic and V meets the minimum for her to start the next phase….INTERIM MAINTENANCE.. 😥
Hospital here we come….
I’m all over the place.. i cant think straight nor write what i want to say .. i’m forgetting everything.. I’m bummed.. frustrated.. However, feels good to know my baby is one day closer to being Cancer free..
We get here and V is all excited.. she was laughing and yelling and running around and even wanted to sit on her bed.. (Good to know her spirit is still the same).. However after the vitals and the numbing cream she began to want to leave… I kept her busy with crayons and a coloring book.. or rather she kept me busy.. ( she kept throwing them on the floor laughing her ass off each time i had to get up to get them,,. my little clown) After the numbing cream sets in the nurses come back to insert the needle on her portacath … Poor V… The needle is in the port and shes hooked up to the liquids…and my V starts telling the nurse “buh bye” .. trying to get off the bed and telling me “go” and “shoes”… Breaks my heart… We are looking at a 4 day stay with lots of strong Chemo.. totally sucks…It wouldn’t be so bad if i didn’t have to leave my B, N and my Hubby…
Its after midnight and she is still up,,,(no SMH”s please) I purposely keep her up when she has to go under so late to avoid her from suffering .
One thing i hate is that no matter how many times you ask they still manage to schedule her LP (Lumbar Puncture or Spinal tap) late. And even though you ask again for a different time they tell you that’s all that’s available and if a slot opens sooner they will take her in.. Its like seriously …? You would think that since shes only 4 and doesn’t fully understand whats going on that they would schedule her bright and early to avoid her from crying and wanting to eat and drink.. But no.. So no breakfast.. no lunch not even a sip of water for my V tomorrow until after her LP which is scheduled at 1 pm.
She just looked at the pictures stored in my phone and she found the one i took of her today.. in this pic she is walking in the hospital with daddy and she said “daddy” and i said “yea daddy at home” and she said ” Daddy.. yeah.. kaka .. Coco” ( Thats what she calls B and N) Awww.. my sweetie understands . (Deep breathe.. fighting to keep the tears back… )
I am at awe on how brave and strong my 4 year old is.. she definitely is an Angel sent from above.. We are truly blessed.
Guardian Angel watch over all my babies.. in heaven, at home and in the hospital..