Pregnancy and chemo? September

It’s scary to know what chemo does to the cancerous cells but even scarier to think what it can do to the healthier cells.. And I’m not even the one taking the meds just giving them.
Finding out that I’m pregnant has totally freaked me out.. Not only because I carry the trisomy 21 gene but because I’ve been giving v her meds and taking care of all that comes out of her.. And even though I do wash my hands and try to avoid touching the actual meds on occasion I have touched a pill and even forced some of the crushed liquid inside vs mouth..
Knowing that chemo is dangerous it is especially dangerous to a fetus especially in the first trimester.. Feeling like it’s too late to asses the damage I’ve done…I’m only a few weeks along and since finding out I have changed my ways of helping my kid I still worry about the before and the beginning.
I spoke to vs drs and a few nurses who strongly agree that I shouldn’t be giving v her meds anymore and to wear gloves and proper hand washing when taking care of v. It totally feels like im alienating her and treating her like she’s contagious or something. Proper hand washing after changing a diaper or even cleaning up vomit or wiping a runny nose isn’t good anymore , it’s dangerous.. Anyone out there dealing with the same thing?? My daughter is half way done with chemo but still has a year to go, I’m just worried I won’t be able to be in the same room as her …
I started reading webmd and noticed that after 12 weeks of pregnancy (2nd trimester) that the placenta acts like a barrier and only small amounts of chemo gets through to the baby. And this is on woman who have to undergo treatment not someone administering it. So I guess if I am safe about taking care of myself especially for the first 12 weeks by unfortunately having minimal contact with vs discharges then baby should be ok… Well In fantasy world I guess someone would be there doing all the dirty clean up and I would do all the good stuff like receiving lots of hugs and dry kisses… ( seriously , even her saliva can be dangerous?)

Shocking to have to deal with so much again.. Never ending worrisome for this mother…

In a perfect world right now I would be feeling lots of joy and happiness and not a care in the world.. But in my reality I’m worried and scared shitless. Trying to care for one kid has made it dangerous for the other ones.


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